Learning to Select Relationships More Intelligently

by Jim Cathcart

Stage Three in Creating High-Value Relationships (the Relationship Intelligence System) is:

Learning to Select Relationships More Intelligently

Intelligent Relationships begin with your choice of who to spend time with.

At last count there were over five billion people on Earth. With today’s technology and a little extra effort there is a good chance that you could connect with any of them.

So which ones should you connect with?

The answer, of course, depends upon your Desired Outcome.

This stage of training is where you focus on finding the people who can make a difference for you. People you can serve profitably and those who can open doors for you. As I mentioned earlier, Intelligence in this sense is Noticing More and being more Conscious, Intentional and Natural in your choices.

In any organization the results are produced by what we call an “Inner Circle.” This is the primary group of people who cause action to occur and results to be achieved. It is typically fewer than twenty and more than two individuals.

Consider in your own job who the three to twelve individuals are without whom you’d be hard pressed to sustain your success?

Who is vital to achieving your results? Take some time to write down all their names on one sheet of paper. Then reflect on this group and notice the implications (in outcomes) if each one were to increase their skills, knowledge, habits, relationships or attitude.

Any change in the Inner Circle will be felt throughout that section of the organization.

The three things to look at first with each Inner Circle are:

1. Who are the players and what does each one of them bring to the team?
2. What is the mix of talent, experience and ability represented on the Inner Circle? Is it a championship team yet?
3. How are the relationships between you and each of them? How are their relationships with each other?

Are there some members who should move to the outer circle? Are some talents missing from this group? Should you go shopping for a new member or two? Who exerts the most influence in the group? There is much to think about with each Inner Circle as you can see.

Find the Leverage Points

The Inner Circle is the Leverage Point for getting to your Desired Outcomes. Every system has Leverage Points where impact is felt more powerfully than at other points in the system. Among people that is usually one or two individuals and even with them it is often one or two key aspects of your relationship that holds the most potential for influence.

In selling it has been long understood that the company owner is a leverage point, but sometimes so is the receptionist or administrative assistant. This person, who usually has much less economic power in the business, still holds the keys necessary for you to gain access to the executives. A relationship with a receptionist, when handled poorly, can end your ability to penetrate an organization further.

The same dynamic exists in all groups, communities, and societies. Certain people are more influential, more well liked, admired and listened to than others. When you gain access to these people your options expand dramatically.

Look at all "organizations" in your life and begin to identify the Inner Circle within each of them.

In the Spirit of Growth,
Jim Cathcart
copyright 2008 Jim Cathcart